The Terrible Crane
There once was a forest thick and green. It was filled with happy animals. They were all so carefree. They had shelter and plenty of food to feast every night. The predators and prey did not have much conflict. Except for the occasional "sorry I ate your neighbor." The animals did not really have an issue with that. They all understood the circle of life. They all lived in harmony.
Spring was on it's way. The animals were all ready for the new season and all the new life. They waited... and waited... and waited. The rain and new life never came. The animals were scared. The home they knew was not the same. It was starting to change the way the animals were behaving. The once safe oasis now did not feel so safe anymore.
The trees were bare and withered. The birds and monkeys didn't know where to sleep. The lakes, rivers, and ponds all dried up. The fish and aquatic life were all suffering. There was no grass for the animals to graze on. Their paradise had become their own personal hell.
As the animals became desperate. They started to be aggressive and hostile towards each other. They were no longer as peaceful and kind. The fish were bumping into each other as they swam because the water level dropped so low!
One night a hungry crane came to the shallow pond. He told the fish about a pond filled with water deep in the forest and offered to transport them, "hey fish! There is a pond I found deep in the forest. It is filled with water. I will take you there."
A fish adviser asked him how they can trust him, "how can we trust a predator to take us there safely?"
"Send one of your trusted fish to go look with me now. I will bring him back and he can tell you about the oasis."
So they send a representative with the crane. The crane carried the fish in his mouth all the way to a new pond that was filled with water. They turned around and came back to the old pond. The representative convinced all the other fish to transfer over!
The crane took the first fish in his mouth and took it deep into the forest. Away from the oasis. AND ATE HIM! The crane did this every day until the the pond had no more fish.
Authors note: I took inspiration from The Crab and the Crane. In the original the crane eats all the fish then goes for the crab. The crab then cuts his head off. The story focuses on karma. I also wanted to tell the story as a kids story.
Ellen C. Babbitt The Crab and the Crane
![[Illustration]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_sVrJRmoa3qANKR-cPiyXGkxGOFmTYkG00EsugBHSU45cqdpmVwdNLeUHEztuMnfKz0uDOeSTAStwHMevpZOeSg3Bik38Hq1mn-EzPTToCHpf-9TLkB9W6qv3Ew6Jv7sTKB9sBarBbyjuvm67XPb47ijdySJnaH81xovJWzUJA=s0-d) |
| So the Crane put the big Fish on his back and started for the deep woods. |
Hey Shen!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was nice how you told this story as if it were part of a kids' storybook. The line "sorry I ate your neighbour" was funny and it fit the tone of the story well, especially when I realised you wanted your audience to be children. I also thought it was interesting how you gave it more backstory than the original with more animals in the forest included.
Hey Shen,
ReplyDeleteLol I like how you said, "Except for the occasional 'sorry I ate your neighbor.' I mean it is the way of life for these animals. For the sentence, "the trees were bare and withered", I think you could add more description such as "the once vibrant colored leaves were on the ground losing their color and life. It was so tragic that the crane how used the situation, but I think how you retold the story was better!
Your classmate,
Joanna
Hi Shen! I loved your story! I actually chose the same story for one of my assignments. I love reading the different perspectives of the same story from my classmates. I would maybe expand more about after he ate them. You do a great job of building the story but then the fish part is pretty short and kind of brutal so it leaves the reader leaving what is next. Also you said the story is based on karma but we don't see any karma to the crane other than he gets a good meal for his bad behavior. I think expanding would give you a chance to show what his karma punishment is. Overall though, I really enjoyed this and your descriptions! I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that these animals understand the circle of life but had the gull to trust a crane during a drought...dang. Anyways, I like your retelling of the Jataka, I just wish it had a moral to the story like most Jatakas usually do. I think the point of most of these children's stories is to teach children morals and this one definitely doesn't punish the evil crane for being greedy and eating all the fish!
ReplyDelete