Shri Krishna of Dwarka- Retold
Hundred's of years ago, the Earth was crawling with monsters and demons. The world was filled with evil and darkness. All the people of Earth were living in fear and dread everyday. The Earth could not take it any longer. The Earth was in pain seeing how awful the world has become. The Earth decided to try something drastic.
The Earth took the form of a cow, because this animal was to be a sacred symbol of life. Once the Earth took the form of the cow it went to visit Brahma Deva. It thought with the help of Brahama Deva, there could be peace in the world once again.
Brahma Deva heard the Earth. Brahma Deva felt the pain in the Earth's voice. So Brahma Deva took the god Shiva and then went to visit Lord Vishbu. They asked for Lord Vishnu to be born again to help Earth.
After hearing the story of the Earth, Vishnu pulled out two of his hairs. One was black and the other was white. To represent the darkness the world is in and the light that is to come. These hairs will take human form.
"The white one will be born as Balarama. This is the incarnation of my serpent Shesha" said Vishnu.
"The black hair will be born as Krishna. Krishna will slay Kansa and all the demons who aid him."
Some time later...
A sage comes to Kansa, the demon, while he is at a wedding. The sage tells him that “today Kansa in his folly honours her whose eighth child will slay him.”
Kansa asks " The eighth child of who?"
"The eighth child of Vasudeva and Devaki" the sage responded.
So Kansa throws Vasudeva and Devaki into prison and slays all of their six prior children.
In prison Vasudeva and Devaki conceived their seventh child... Balarama. Before Balarama wa born, Lord Vishnu caused it to be drawn from her womb and placed in the womb of Rohini. Rohini is the other wife of Vasudeva.
In time the eighth child came... Krishna. He had he had four bejeweled arms and on his brow a diadem.
This is the story of Krishna's birth.
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| Vasudeva carrying the newborn Krishna (Source) |
Bibliography- Shri Krishna of Dwarka and Other Stories by C. A. Kincaid (1920)
Authors Note: I wanted to tell the story of Krishna's birth. He is the figure I am most familiar with. I never knew his origin story. So I chose to retell the story in my own words.
Hey Shenaka,
ReplyDeleteI really like the background that you added in your story. It made it very dark and interesting. It also kept me engaged as I wanted to read more. I liked how you added your own voice to the story of Krishna’s birth. It was definitely an interesting take. Overall, I really like your story and can’t wait to read more of your work!
Hi Shenaka, I really enjoyed the reading this week about the birth of Krishna, and I enjoy how you took and it and retold it as your own. I think shortening it makes it much more easier for the reader to understand as there is a lot going on. Overall, I thought it was a good story that was not confusing to evaluate, and I like that! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi~
ReplyDeleteGreat work on your story! It starts off strong and is easy to read. The only suggestion I have is to maybe find other ways to name 'The Earth' 'Brahma Deva' etc. It's not super critical, I just thought it might make the story feel a bit less repetitive.
Your interpretation was a nice supplement to how I have been understanding everything. I really like Krishna so I'm glad we are spending time on him. I hope you can include him in some of your other stories!
Hi Shenaka! Great story. Not only was it very fun to read it was also a quick easy read. Since i spend so much time reading big hard words it's nice to be able to sit back and relax and read a nice one like this. I think you are a great writer. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Shenaka! Great story! There is something cryptic about it, even the picture you chose, that makes the reader curious to know more. I think my only recommendation would be to use some more adjectives especially when using Earth. I recommend adjectives because I know coming up with new names for Earth might be hard. Not just coming up with names, but also misleading to the reader. I think though, with a story as short as this, it can be a bit redundant so some adjectives strengthen the story while also adding some more texture. It wasn't too noticeable, but I think it might help. I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHello Shenaka! It was a great story and easy to understand and read! It was easy to focus on your plot. My main suggestion is explaining more about the original story in your author’s note. Maybe talk about some changes you made in the story or interpretation- something to compare! It would be easier and quicker for me to know about the original story! Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteI like it. It seems a little quick cut but most orgins storys are pretty quick to get to the point. I feel like you could have connected the two halves of your sotry better but I have no suggestions as to how you may manage to do that, other than that, good work, it was a quick and easy read, not hard to understand at al!
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Shenaka. I like how you retold the story of Krishna's origin, but I had to re-look up the original story to compare. You could include more about the original in your Author's Note, or how you changed it. Also, at the beginning, is it only "hundreds of years ago"? Seems a little short for the time period described.
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