Savitri (Retold)
In a land far far away, there was a king named Advi and his queen named Sara. They lived a happy and loving life. Their kingdom prospered, they had a loving life, and couldn't be more happy for their success. Their only grief... they did not have and heir. They had a daughter, the princess of their kingdom, but she could never be the heir. The princess Rifa was loved by all. She was smart, kind, humble, and the perfect heir. Except she was a woman.
The princess was given the best education. She was taught by the world renowned educators. She was trained in politics and was guided by the king himself. As if training her to be the heir. Rifa had become a wise and respected princess.
One day the princess took her ladies out to explore a nearby village. The village is near a river that is said to have magical properties. It will listen to those who come and grant them what they pray for. However, those are just rumors. The young ladies just went for fun. The river is now a popular tourist attraction.
The ladies arrive to the river and they enjoy the scenes and explore the river. They enjoy the scenery and fauna. Rifa wandered from the group. She strolled by the river enjoying her free time. Then she saw a man in the river. He was swimming with his friends. She quickly looked away. But what she saw was the most beautiful man. She was taken by his beauty. The man noticed her as well. He got dressed and met her across the river. The man was a disowned prince from another country. The princess hid her true identity as to not scare him away. They spent time together. The ladies watched from afar and they could see what was happening was dangerous. It was easy to see that the two had fallen for each other.
The princess tells the king about her love for a poor commoner. The king does not approve. He uses all his resources to convince her that she should not marry him. He reveals the fate of the commoner to Rifa. The prophecy said the commoner is to die in a year. She said "if he is to die in a year than be it. I will much rather have a year of happiness with him than a life forgetting him". Her love for the commoner surpassed all objection and the king allowed the wedding.
After the wedding the princess left to live with her husbands family. They lived a happy life filled with love. Rifa always held a heavy weight with her, knowing that her husband would be taken from her.
As the time approached she knew. Her husband fell ill. He was sick for a week. He wasn't getting better. One night her husband passed away as Rifa sat by his side. Later that night the god of death came to their room. "I have come to take your husband" said the god of death.
The princess begged for the god of death to give back her husband. He would not listen. So Rifa said her final goodbyes and the god of death took her husband away.
After a little bit Rifa got up and followed the god of death. He noticed and asked her to stop, "I can't take your husband to the afterlife if you keep following me".
"I have no purpose here without him" replied Rifa.
This went on for a long time. The god of death was taken by her love for her husband and have him back to her.
They went back to the kingdom and ruled together for many decades.
Authors Note: I started with the story of Savitri. She was persistent and got what she worked for. That what I tried to do with Rifa. Savitri lost her husband after a year and pleaded with the god of death to give him back to her. That is the story I tried to retell.
Bibliogrophy: Sunity Devee, Nine Ideal Indian Women: Savitri, Damayanti, Sati, and Uttara
Hi Shen,
ReplyDeleteThis was great! I didn’t read the “Nine Ideal Indian Women” reading, so the source text was somewhat new to me as well.
“The river is now a popular tourist attraction.” – I liked this touch!
(One small typo – in the first paragraph I think “have and heir” should be “have an heir[.]” And there’s some occasional inconsistency of tense: most of the story is in the past tense, but, for example, at the beginning of paragraph 4 “the ladies *arrive*” – present. Similarly, paragraph 5 is in present tense. Again, little things.)
Thanks for the tale!
A.M.
Hello again, Sheneka!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story. I also did not read the original story. I think if you were to mention the differences between your story and the original it would add length to your author's note. It would also give those of us who did not read it a better understanding of where your story came from. I also was hoping you would weave some of the wedding activities of those from Bangladesh (from your real life) into the wedding in your story. That could always be something you do next time. Thanks for the good read!
Hi Sheneka!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story! I think you did a great job of retelling this story. I did read the original version and I think you did a great job of staying true to the original plot while still adding your own unique twist to it. I could see how it might be beneficial to make your authors note a little bit longer for those who might not have had that opportunity though. Great job!
That was a really great story. All of the details you gave of the two characters really showed that they were in love, and made the story that much more heart-breaking when the husband died. Everyone loves a good love story and I think this one was really good. Take care,
ReplyDelete- NitroDubbz
I have to admit that this type of story doesn't really appeal to me. That being said, your story was decently told. I didn't mind it. Its a good thing if I'm not actively unhappy due to a story. This reminds me of some stories that I hate. Knight Run was the worst thing I've ever had to read. Budgie's life kinda sucks. Dragnarok was god awful. So good job.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheneka, I enjoyed reading your story, Power of Love. I very much enjoyed how simple is was to read. It was almost like a children story, I mean that in a good way. The sentences flowed together nicely and the plot was not to complicated to follow and understand. I feel sorry for Rifa because of her situation. Honestly why does love always have to be so complicated. I guess since love is a complicated emotion, it has a complicated way of making things work out. However, I am glad Rifa's husband was able to get better. I wonder what Rifa had said to the god of death that ultimately convinced him not to take her husband's life? Again I enjoyed reading your short story!
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ReplyDeleteHi Sheneka! I just wanted to start by saying that I absolutely loved reading your story. I liked how the story sounded like it was kind of a fairytale. However, it would be nice if you had included more info on how you changed the story and make it into your own. I think that would be really helpful after reading your story.
Sheneka,
ReplyDeleteYour story was so sweet. You wrote it so well, I and I appreciate your effort to rewrite Savritri's story. You even gave it a happy ending. It was wonderful, and I am so glad I had the opportunity to read your story. There were a couple of errors in terms of grammar and spacing. Just small technical things. I am curious though how she managed to beg him to let him live and stay with her and how she hid her "commoner" husband from her parents. Cute story though! I loved it.
Well told story with a good romantic tone. He infidelity seemed to be taken seriously by her friends but not so much by her husband. The king seems to find it annoying at best, simply trying yo convince her to not leave him, but he doesn’t seems really emotionally invested in her at all...something to think about or add more of. I kinda wish we knew more about the banished commoner prince, he’s just so mysterious and I suppose his looks are the seductive type.
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